Let Sleeping Bullies Lie

I have often said there is nothing more peaceful than a sleeping dog. The total calm, quiet almost serene place they find themselves when they are in a deep sleep. Then I got Jet! God bless my little girlie but there is absolutely nothing feminine about her. In fact I purposefully bought her pink collars, pink tracking harness, pink leash, pink...you get the picture, so that people would know she was a girl.
Although Jet can sleep with the best of them (including sleeping until 11:00 a.m. after I had gone to work, in my bed, under the covers until mom literally had to wake her up to go outside), she is anything but the picture of serenity....Yes my little girl SNORES! I don't mean the occassional little sound sneaking out, I mean full out, your grandpa's-head-back-open-mouth, snoring. As she has decided (ok I let her) that sleeping in my bed, under the covers is her place of choice, I often find myself trying desperately to get to sleep before her or I am doomed. This is becoming increasingly difficult as she puts herself to bed way before me! By 9:00 p.m. she is heading down the hall to my bedroom door, her bully butt waddling away, looking over her shoulder at me as if to say - come on I am ready for bed. By the time I actually decide to turn in she is in full groan and rumble (and usually in the wrong spot on the bed). Anyone who has had to share sleeping quarters with a snorer can sympathize I am sure.
As if snoring wasn't bad enough she also expels the most odiferous gas from the other end. I mean it can clear a room. Sometimes you get a warning sound first, but more often then not it just creeps up on you unaware. It seems any movement or effort expelled on her part comes with the added bonus of 'jet fuel' as I have come to affectionately call it.
The best moment of all however, was when she was sitting on my mom's lap in the lazyboy, let one rip and then proceeded to look back over her shoulder at her butt - with a look that said...what was that???
P.S. As I post this she is still sound asleep under the covers while I am at work - something wrong with that picture!!!